Janurary is all about a fresh start.

#1       Hire an individual counselor

I tell everyone that is going through a divorce to hire a counselor. You need the support during that time. It doesn’t mean that you are crazy if you go see a counselor. It means that you need someone who is educated and skilled and not involved to help you to examine your thinking and decision making. And to help you deal with the normal emotion that is involved when divorcing including sadness, fear and anger. If needed, consider consulting a doctor to determine if an antidepressant or antianxiety medication would help. Your best friend does not take the place of a real licensed counselor. Sometimes our best friends can give poor advice, although they are well meaning.

#2       Sleep

It is important that your basic life function is happening.  It is not uncommon for people to have trouble sleeping when they are going through a major life change.  If you are having trouble sleeping pay attention to your habits leading up to bedtime. Don’t use screens or have other excitement just before bed. Don’t drink caffeine in the afternoon and evening. Use relaxation techniques- meditation, a hot bath, calm music. Don’t eat a big meal just before bed. If needed, consult a physician for sleeping medication. Getting regular 7-8 hours of sleep is important. It is not advised to make important life decisions including the terms of your divorce when you are sleep deprived.

#3       Exercise

The merits of exercise are many including stress reduction, improved sleep, weight control, and physical strengthening.  It improves your mood because serotonin is released when we exercise.

#4       Breathe

It sounds funny to remind someone to breathe, because of course we are all breathing.  However, when people are under stress it is common for them to hold their breath and to take shallow breaths instead of full deep breaths. It is hard for our bodies and minds to function well without adequate oxygen. Meditation is a good practice to work on our breathing. Some exercises like Yoga and Pilates focus on our breathing as well.